Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs when we least expect them. After a disappointing and depressing few months at the end of 2022, and at the start of 2023, my luck changed in February, as I was given the chance to start a new chapter with a job that excited me. However, one month later, I found myself facing a health situation that would change everything. Losing a new job just 2 months after starting it due to ill health was not just a blow to my professional aspirations; it was an emotional upheaval that forced me to confront my vulnerabilities, fears, and ultimately, my resilience.
The Excitement of a New Beginning
There’s something exhilarating about starting a new job. It’s a fresh start, filled with opportunities for growth, creativity, and new connections. I remember the joy of receiving the offer, the rush of meeting my new colleagues, and the thrill of diving into projects that sparked my enthusiasm. It felt like I was finally on the right path again, ready to contribute and flourish in my career.
The Unexpected Turn
However, just as I was finding my footing, disaster struck, as on a trip to London to see a play, my back gave out on me. I have struggled with back issues since 2017, but this time, it didn’t seem to be getting any better. I had to take time off due to not being able to walk, sit or stand for long periods of time. I then decided to go for an MRI which I paid for privately and discovered I had a large disc bulge in my lower lumbar region. Decompression surgery would be required, but I had to be referred back to the NHS. The consultant also pointed out an anomaly on my spinal cord, which has since been diagnosed as a benign Schwannoma. Whilst I was waiting for my MRI date, I did try to return to work. Yet, as the days went by, the pain left me physically and mentally drained.
I was reluctant to admit my situation, fearing that it would reflect poorly on my commitment to my new role. But as my health deteriorated, I found it increasingly difficult to keep up with the demands of my job.
Facing the Reality of Illness
The day I had the meeting with my manager and HR was one of the hardest moments I’ve faced. I guess I knew deep down what was coming. It was a conversation filled with compassion, yet it felt like a punch to the gut. The company had been understanding, allowing me time off to recover, but ultimately, they had to make decisions that were best for the team and the organization. I was devastated — not just to lose my job but to recognize that I was physically unable to perform at the level I had initially envisioned.
The Emotional Toll
The emotional aftermath was overwhelming. I felt a wave of shame wash over me. I had always prided myself on being resilient and hardworking. Losing my job felt like an admission of failure, and I grappled with self-doubt. How could I explain this to others? Would they see me as someone who couldn’t handle life’s pressures?
I also, and still do, mourn the loss of opportunity and potential. I watch others thrive in their careers, feeling distanced from the professional world I once felt a part of.
Embracing Resilience and Growth
In the days that followed, I allowed myself to feel the emotions—grief, anger, confusion. But as time has passed, I realise that illness, while debilitating, can also serve as a catalyst for change and growth. I started shifting my perspective, focusing on what I could learn from this experience.
I had support from friends and loved ones, which has helped me process my feelings and avoid wallowing in complete sadness.
Reframing My Future – Not Out of the Woods Over A Year Later
Losing my job due to ill health was not the ending I had envisioned but rather a chance to reevaluate my priorities. It has pushed me to reflect on what I truly want in my career and life. But I realise that my health needed to come first, and any future roles I pursue should align with that understanding.
I had surgery in August 2023, and my recovery wasn’t great. I was still in pain, and then in December, my disc slipped again causing the most horrendous debilitating spasms. In late March 2024, it slipped again, and this time I ended up in A&E where I was given morphine for the pain, but then sent home after a 16 hour wait. I raised funds to go for another private MRI in April and have only just been for a follow up appointment at the spinal clinic. I will require another surgery, but I have no idea when this will be. A year later and I’m still not out of the woods, still in pain, and still unsure what my future holds.
This is why I made the decision to try to go freelance. To be my own boss and to set my own workload. I also intend to approach potential employers with transparency about my situation, seeking environments that prioritise employee well-being. I’m learning to trust that there’s strength in vulnerability and that my journey is uniquely mine.
Conclusion: A New Chapter Awaits
While losing my new job was an unexpected and painful twist in my career path, it has opened the door to a deeper understanding of myself. I’ve learned that setbacks do not define us; how we rise from them does. As I move forward, I carry with me the lessons of resilience, adaptability, and the importance of prioritising my health.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, know that you are not alone. Embrace your journey, seek support, and allow yourself the grace to heal. The road ahead may be uncertain, but with every ending comes the potential for a new beginning. Remember, it’s not about how you start; it’s about how you finish, and I’m determined to finish stronger than ever.
You can view my professional portfolio at Angela J Young - Professional Services | Administration | Crewe, UK (angeyoung1975.wixsite.com)
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